Tag Archives: toddler

I’m Trying to Feel Sympathetic Toward Your Tantrum… (Wordless Wednesday)

But it’s hard. Real hard.

(Sym)pathetic. MomsicleBlog

Toddler Christmas

‘Twas the week before Christmas
and all through the little rental
EVERYONE was awake
and mama was mental…

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(I’ll stop before the rhyming gets out of hand and blame that poetic interlude on sleep deprivation.)

It’s almost Christmas, and I’m stuffing stockings, wrapping presents feeling anxiety about wrapping presents, and looking at packages that won’t pack and send themselves. Apparently I’m in charge of all this stuff.

Why isn’t it all coming together with big bows and advanced-planning?

Possibly because this guy is involved…

Until now, K-Pants thought Christmas was just like any other day. But now, he’s TWO! And Christmas is suddenly a glorious time filled with candy and lights and lollipops and treats and presents and cookies…

He’s like a toddler superhero with the vocabulary of a well-trained parrot, the stomach of a goat, and the self-discipline of a terrier. He finds ANY sugar in the house and spends most of the day shouting “MORE TREATS MAMA! MORE TREATS MAMA! TWO. MORE. TREATS. MAMAAAA!

If I say no, he just pushes up his little toddler chair to the counter and steals them off the tray.*

*Don’t worry, friends–there are consequences.

It all started at the beginning of the month when we made two batches of sugar cookies. He wanted all the dough, all the cookies, and all the crumbs.

He circled the stove like a vulture, waiting for fresh kill to come out. I knew there were only more cookies to come in December, so I let him have at it.

Go ahead, Mr. Pants. Eat all the cookies you want. More? Sure! How many? 17? You got it! See what your little tummy thinks about that: Muah ha ha ha haaaa!!!!

But then there were no digestive repercussions: no horrible tummy ache, no ensuing diarrhea.

Biology, why did you fail me? I needed the Pants to learn that you can’t eat sugar as your only food group.

And more and more cookies and chocolates have poured in to the house. I can’t make it stop. Mr. Pants has only eaten cookies or gold-foil wrapped chocolate coins for weeks. Yesterday he had some potato chips when we were out and I was happy that he was eating something savory.

Someone slap me! I’ve got to claw my way out of this craziness.

I also need to mail some packages, wrap some presents, and relearn what a vegetable is. So please accept my apologies for late gifts wrapped in coupon mailings and junk-mail envelopes. I’m busy looking for the produce aisle.

We’re Back! Live from the Pacific Northwest!

Winter is always a bad time to cross the Rockies in a wagon train. Even though we went with air travel, Nor’easters hit hard as we were making our great escape. Amazingly, our flight was not canceled; so with the help of good friends and family, we fled the Big Apple just in time for the season premiere of Portlandia.

K-Pants and I have spent the last few weeks deciding what we should get first: lip rings, nerd glasses, or unicycles. Your thoughts appreciated.

With the crib finally put back together and our little family safely—if haphazardly—stowed in a cute, suburban house next to a park, Momsicle can finally come back to life. I thought we would be back last week, but it turns out I was crying into empty boxes and aimlessly watching K-Pants throw everything down the stairs, so no dice.

Here’s the new digs:

Cute, right? And there’s a garbage disposal and laundry inside.

It’s harder than I thought to unpack when you are pregnant, watching a toddler, and your husband is at work. (That’s right! BIG NEWS: Momsicle is adding another turtle to the herd!)

I’m used to being able to unpack in a day. But this go round, every box took an hour. I would unpack some things, take a power nap, then collect the items Mr. Pants threw down the stairs during the nap. So when the satellite TV people told me the pricing they had quoted was no longer valid, it was too much for this hormonal unpacker to take. Normally I would demand a manager until I got through to the CEO, but this time I threw myself on the floor and cried giant tears.

So it’s taken a little longer to get back online.

But I’m happy to report that the last box is out and we even have toilet paper. From the house we’re renting, Mr. Pants and I can walk to Mexican food, bagels, pizza, sushi, and coffee. It’s pregnant-lady dreamland. Wait! You might say. You could walk to that stuff in the Bronx. Almost true! But have you checked the temperatures and the snowfall in those parts? Ain’t nobody walking to bagels these days.

And when the walking rounds get old, I can get in my car and drive two minutes to Trader Joe’s where I can fill the back of my car with cheese and pizza dough. I know that Buddha tells us life is suffering, and I’m with you man, but a girl can still get high on a car full of cheese once a week to take the edge off.

Here’s K-Pants doing some grocery shopping:

So here’s a toast on Valentine’s Day to the things you love (cheese), to being at home (wherever that may be), and to family. My husband and I are thrilled to put the Pants down early tonight and enjoy frozen scallops from TJ’s and some Netflix from the comfort of our unpacked family room.

Happy V-Day, and I look forward to catching up with you soon!