Tag Archives: self-reflection

My Resolutions So I’ll Remember Them

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Creek Reflection by Boy Woww, 2018

The time for manic resolutions has passed, so I’m ready to look at what I want for the year. I don’t always make resolutions, but the past four years have been so tumultuous and transformative in that tear-you-apart-and-make-something-out-of-the-broken-pieces kind of way, that I am ready to tuck deep down into some reflection and look forward, a little bit at a time.

1

Start the day with a little prayer for unconditional love, seeking it for myself and giving it to others. I’m opinionated and can be abrasive. These things make it easy for me to act decisively and with confidence. They can be endearing, but also hurtful. So…unconditional love first for me (because if I can do it for myself then I can do it for others) and the things and people I love and encounter in the world.

2

Work toward getting stronger physically and emotionally. The years that I was pregnant with the Fairy Pig and she was an infant, one-year-old, and two-year-old have been the weakest-feeling of my life. I’ve been atrophied and exhausted. Sometimes thinking about exercise overwhelmed me. But I love to be outside and be active. Help!

3

Expand my freelance network, especially to include more talented women of color. I’m really proud that my freelance work is up and running… professional work was on the back-burner for six years. Now I want a rich network of bitches who are creative, thoughtful, and have great writing, web coding/design, or graphic design skills. Power is in community. If I know you, I’m coming for you. If I don’t know you, hit me up.

4

Get in bed before 10 p.m. and try to go to sleep at 10. Doomed to failure? All the other years say there’s no way she’ll do this!! I’m a night owl. The kids are all down by 8, but I want to do my personal writing, check in on Facebook and Instagram, snuggle up with my boo on the couch and watch mindless television, take a bath, and read a book, all before 10 p.m. My expectations are way too high, but if I don’t do all the things then life seems less fun, and when life seems gray I spiral into a depressive abyss. But maybe, just maybe, I’ll get to bed…

I like having these here as intentions. Failure is fine. But if I put them out in the universe, then maybe they’ll come back to me abundantly… who knows. I would love to hear an intention of yours, because it helps me grow.  

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A Little Reflection on Past Sins

Jackie's pumpkins were better, but also more evil

So this happened at Halloween.

Our house was home-base for a trick-or-treating party that included three preschoolers and their entourages (which came to about 25 people, because preschoolers need a lot of handlers).

I was wearing an adult-size Oscar the Grouch costume.

Me & Jackie. 100% behind Sesame Workshop.

I’m a little overzealous (and anal retentive).

Luckily my friends tend to be overzealous, too, and they arrived in full superhero costumes: Superman, Superwoman, Batman, Wolverine, and–my favorite–Captain America with full-size shield.

The relatives were all wearing street clothes. My husband thought about wearing a Red Sox hat, but decided not to.

So he was in the kitchen helping my dad, sister, and brother grab beers from the fridge to help them get through the preschool-Halloween rave that was unfolding in the living room.

As you know, little people don’t have much patience, and they melt down really early. So it’s imperative to take a commemorative group picture right away, and then hit the yellow brick road to Candyland.

Right?! Right!!

I had assembled the Justice League for our commemorative photo in 30-seconds-flat.

We just needed a non-costumed family photographer. Hey, photographers? PHOTOGRAPHERS?!?! Where the hell are all you people?

They were trying to take just a few more sips of their survival beers.

They may not have understood the full scale, and responsibilities, of preschool Halloween.

Oscar was not happy.

Words were exchanged. Things were said that Oscar may-or-may-not remember due to black-out grouch rage.

It’s possible the death-ray feature on K-Pants’s robot costume was activated.

It's like Laser Cats.

You know, self-reflection is one of those gifts God gave us that we don’t always take advantage of.

I hear that reading books and talking to people can help.

Unfortunately I’m not all that literate any more, and I spend most of my time talking to the gremlins.

But it’s a new year, and it’s time to watch some TV and recommit to working on my flaws.

Through careful examination of Modern Family I’ve decided that I’m definitely Cam: high on enthusiasm and expectations, always good at talking, but maybe not the best listener or communicator.

So, family, I’ll try to warn you about preschool raves this year, and understand your needs a little better. Thanks for bearing with me.