11 Tips for Flying Cross-Country with 3 Kids: Ages 3, 7, & 9

Hello, Orlando Airport!

Flying with kids is about managing the chaos and chances for things to derail (for me, that’s everywhere I look). We live in Portland. Half of our family lives in Tampa. Flying is necessary because we love being with our people. At this point, I have some sky under my belt and a lot of opinions. Here’s my advice based on our national and international family flying experiences. (Additional travel tips from me and guest writers can be found on my Travel with Kids page.)

Use this post to think about what works for you, and leave your own tips in the comments. (You might be like, “I would NEVER fly carry-on only. And that’s 100% awesome if it works for you.) Our last cross-country flight was with our 3, 7, and 9-year-olds — this list is based on those ages.

1. Avoid an extra flight however you can.

• Is nonstop an option? Take it. With connecting flights, there’s so much room for delayed flights, storms, mechanical failures, or other chaos to derail your trip. I think of the catastrophic family implosion (adults included) that would occur as we tried to find an airport hotel in Minneapolis because of snow or a missed connection. In that moment, I would surely have paid extra to fly direct.
• Get creative. To get to Tampa, we fly direct to Orlando, rent a car, and drive the rest of the way – about 90 minutes. (There are no direct flights to Tampa from Portland.) It’s great to have the second leg of our trip in a private, sound-contained vehicle where we can have our meltdowns in peace.

2. Baggage: Travel carry-on. Make sure every bag has wheels.

• At the end of your flight, find food, bathrooms, and get out of there as quickly as possible. When we arrive at our final destination, we’re exhausted, emotionally disregulated, and also elated in that jittery way. We’re soaked in travel kerosene and any spark will send it up. Searching out the baggage claim and having one adult watch the kids while the other plays whack-a-mole with bags on a conveyor belt for an extra 30-45 minutes is my idea of hell. I can’t risk lost baggage. I’ve had bags lost, and so have friends. Dealing with the logistics of three young kids traveling is enough without managing calls from the airlines and missing clothes.
• Every bag we have has wheels, except the parent backpacks and preschooler backpack.

 

3. Car seats: add wheels and use bungee cords

• We splurged on one of those attachable roller things for car seats. It’s been amazing. Basically turns our giant car seat into a stroller.
• We then use bungee cords and other ties to keep all the car seats and baggage together so everything rolls. Did I mention carabiners? I love them.

Car seat as stroller. Also functions as a luxury preschooler seat on the monorail to terminals. Note the Ergo baby-carrier I’m wearing. We had this in case of a preschooler meltdown, so we could pack her up and carry her.

4. Stop right away in the destination airport to eat and go to the bathroom.

• When we arrive, we eat and do potty breaks right away. There’s a McDonald’s in Orlando. Everyone gets Happy Meals. This is not the time to think about the words “sustainable” or “obesity epidemic” or other boujee earth-saving vocabulary. While the herd grazes, one adult can ferry people to the bathroom and refill water bottles for the car.

5. Speaking of food, pack tons of snacks, and split them up into each person’s bag so they’re within reach.

6. Use as much screen time as you need at any moment and pre-load the devices you travel with with games that work without wi-fi.

• Every couple years when we upgrade phones, we keep the old ones. Over the past 10 years, that’s given us a nice little pile. You may have iPads or Kindles…whatever you have, load them with things that don’t need wi-fi. We found that the inflight entertainment can be limited and not your kids’ favorite. My kids don’t love Disney movies because they’re kind of traumatic—the parents are always dying. Alaska doesn’t have a great selection of in-flight entertainment, anyhow, and wi-fi on the flight costs over $20 per device.

7. Let your kids choose a small number of books and small toys or art supplies to pack in their own carry-ons. Our kids often want too many things, but other than that they are good about choosing the things they’ll most enjoy. Pokémon cards, stuffies, etc.

8. Organize your under-seat carry-ons efficiently.

• I buy gallon-size Ziploc bags before we go. It really helps to keep things somewhat compartmentalized because all the stuff goes everywhere once we’re onboard and people are passing things back and forth. We have:
  1. A technology bag that includes lots of chargers, headphone adapters, headphone splitters, and adult earbuds. (Kids carry their own headphones in their carry-ons.)
  2. A bag with an extra change of clothes for the three-year-old, plus wipes, and a diaper. She’s potty-trained, but has many accidents. Often, we’ll have her wear a diaper for the trip. It’s just easier to change in case she has to pee during take off or landing.
• Pack a ton of extra plastic bags that you can use for trash bags, soiled clothes, or whatever comes up.

Wipes are at-the-ready, a plastic trash bag is attached via carabiner (so many random little trash items magically appear in-flight), food and art supplies are handy. We also have extra plastic bags and a change of clothes for everyone in case someone throws up… we’ve been there before.

9. Pack a meal for the flight or buy it the airport – don’t rely on inflight service.

• If we haven’t packed a meal (which is cheapest, but hard to have the space for), once we’re past security, we grab food. After security, you don’t have to worry about the issue of space.
• Sometimes they run out of inflight food by the time they get to us, so I like to be sure we have a meal and we can eat it whenever we want.

10. Use Benadryl, melatonin, Dramamine, or whatever works for you and your kids to help them nap.

• I’ve flown with babies a lot. At the end of most flights, people will say, “Your baby was soooo good!” That’s because I use a combo of all the sleep-inducing tools I have. I am not a doctor, so do what you need, but don’t go too crazy. Give your chosen sleep-aid(s) right before you board or right after you sit down. I usually take something for me, too, because traveling with kids can make me very jittery.

11. Choose your seats wisely. We sit three in one row, and two directly behind.

• After non-stop flights, and sleep-inducing chewables, this is the most important thing. We place our Preschool Queen of Seat-back Kicking right behind another member of our family. One time I had a real a**hole swear at us and practically start an in-flight Lucha Libre session after sitting in front of our then-18-months-old appendage-flailing champion. We do everything we can to make sure our kids don’t jostle other passengers, but under age 5, we’re not going to win that battle. Sitting for 3-6 hours in a confined space without moving is not developmentally appropriate. Arms and legs gonna fly.

Preschool Queen of Seat-back Kicking placed strategically behind someone she’s related to

Tips for Long-Haul Air Travel with Young Kids Featured on Parent Hacks

Would you rather spend 24 hours on three flights with your young kids while you try not to throw up again, or…

• replace your right hand with a monkey?
• shower with Red Bull as the water and molasses as the soap for a week?
• open a consignment store for slightly used feminine products?

Luckily the monkey types well, the molasses is keeping my left-hand stuck to the computer, and the consignment store doesn’t open until 11 p.m.: I can still blog!

I would choose anything over a full day’s worth of being cramped in a flying machine with young children, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get where you want to go. My husband and I were very, very grateful we sucked it up and took off for India over New Year’s 2014–2015. …and we will do it again!

It has been a pleasure to share my 10 tips for long-haul travel with young kids with Asha Dornfest over at the incredibly useful and well-written site Parent Hacks. 

Click over to see the full list, including how to be the boss of potty accidents and throw-up in the air, what kinds of melatonin worked for our family, and when and where to septuple check your seat assignments.

Want more travel tips?

Here’s a great list of guest posts and additional writing on travel with young kids here at Momsicle.

And here’s a great article on Science of Mom with more tips about international travel with kids.

Bon voyage!

Good Parents Have Bad Kids on Airplanes

Before kids, on an airplane, you think things like this:

• If I have kids, I won’t travel until they are old enough to be respectful.
• Airlines should have flights just for families so I don’t have to deal with this shrieking-effing-chaos.
• If I travel with my kids I’ll damn well make sure they don’t kick the  seat in front of them for three hours straight.
• Why doesn’t anyone in this whole f*&king world know how to parent a child??!!??

Well I say, Amen! Preach it! Can I get a Hallelujah?!

If my current self time-traveled back to have appletinis with my former self and her single friends, I would be the one pounding the vodka, and saying, “B*tches! You are soooooo right! And you know what’s worse than sitting in front of the kid kicking you and screaming? Being the owner of that kid.”

I mean, on a plane these gremlins take annoying to a new level of hell.

But here’s the thing, sometimes you have to travel with your sweet gremlins.

I am an over-planner. The kids are always ready. The drug cocktail is always prepped, along with dozens of activities and snacks. Still, things don’t always go your way.

Like today.

And here’s what I was thinking,

• Where are those damn family flights?
• Will I actually ever get off of this plane, or will we just fly around in screaming-toddler purgatory for the rest of our lives?
• Why can’t I be like those parents who pack cute bags of candy for everyone around them and buy a round of drinks?

It wouldn’t have been quite as bad, except that we got viciously chewed out by Mr. Seat21A, who told us we just needed to get control of our kids.

But here’s the thing, Mr. A-Hole-Pants, I do not need to try sitting in front of my children on a plane for three hours to see what it’s like, as you suggest.

Because sitting next to them, trying to provide 250 different types of entertainment and 7 courses of snacks, just to have Baby Woww wake up possessed by a demon… this is actually worse than you getting kicked for three hours. (If only I had packed my excorcism kit! I always forget something!)

And yes, I did take a picture of you so that Beelzebub will have a shot when he comes looking.

(He’s watching The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, a strange choice for a very insensitive guy.)

Yet, there are heroes.

Jessie, in seat 23D, I love you for the rest of my days.

Jessie defended us. She is a grandmother with a fabulous Nashville drawl, and when Mr. A-Hole-Pants told her, “This is none of your business.” She said, “When children or the elderly are bullied, I make it my business.”

I will always, always love you. And I hope I grow up to be you. Because as I’ve talked about before, parenting is not about getting praise for your awesomeness, but finding support in your lowest moments.

Can I get an Amen?!

An Interview with Duck, Duck, Moose

Back when I was packing my suitcase with drugs and kid-friendly iPhone Apps for my favorite activity, flying with kids, I came across “Trucks” by Duck, Duck, Moose.

“Trucks” was an instant hit with K-Pants because it’s like playing with Tonka trucks on the iPhone.

Sara over at Duck, Duck, Moose happened to notice I was loving on “Trucks,” and offered to have me review a new app.

The problem is that I don’t really review things unless offered either a) a year’s supply of bleu cheese, or b) a three-hour boat tour around the entire island of Manhattan. (Despite my  best efforts, that mythical cruise never happened.)

But I was still interested in chatting with Duck, Duck, Moose, because I wanted to know how these guys figured out the deceptively simple world of preschool gaming.

So many preschool apps seem like they are designed by programming droids trying to remember their long-ago childhoods. But Duck, Duck, Moose designs games with the bright, simple, hedonistic soul of a preschooler.

They view children’s apps like pop-up books with good music and touch technology.

Yes! Why don’t more people get it!?

So here’s a bit of insight into Duck, Duck, Moose’s world through a little banter with Caroline Hu Flexer, one of company’s founders.

(Caroline’s the one in the middle. BTW, she also parents small people.)

Some Push and Shove with Caroline Hu Flexer of duck, duck, moose

Me: Children are everywhere–in schools, under rocks, on tops of tables. (Well, my tables, at least.) There’s no mystery here, so why is it so hard for adults to really get into their heads when designing games?

Caroline: Kids behave and think very differently from adults. That’s why it’s so important for us to work closely with kids in our design process. We have kids come into our offices, and we go out to classrooms every week. Every time we’re surprised by what we learn.

One example that I like to use is from when we were testing our Draw and Tell app with a four year old. The app has a tray of paint brushes in different colors, and we saw her choose the purple paint brush on the iPad. But then, we could see her hesitate and look at her finger. It was clear from her expression that she had changed her mind, and now wanted a different color. So, what did she do? She wiped her finger on her pants before choosing another color! This was not something that we anticipated!

Me: Tell us a funny story about pilot testing with kids.

Caroline: We use the testing to help us design better for kids and enjoy having the kids in the office. But the last time we tested one of the little girls started crying because her 30 minutes was up and she wanted to stay longer! We forgot that the kid testing session are just as much fun for the kids as they are for us.

Me: A lot of your job is looking at the world through a child’s eyes. Has all of this observation made you a better parent?

Caroline: I hope so! At least I try to observe them and listen to what they’re saying, before opening my own mouth (but not always). My seven year old does a good imitation of me, and it does not involve me quietly observing.

Me: What is Duck, Duck, Moose going to do in 2013 to save me from insanity during cross-country air travel with a preschooler and a toddler? Keep in mind I’m only armed with Benadryl, Dramamine, a husband, and an iPhone.

Caroline: We will keep your kids singing, making up stories, drawing, driving trucks, recording their own voices and greetings, learning their numbers and letters, and more!

Me: Well, let’s hope Duck, Duck, Moose and the drugs can work their magic. Thank you, Caroline!

If you’re a game-design nerd, you’ll also eat up this post from the Duck, Duck, Moose blog about their dynamic process.