How to Make People Feel Bad at Christmas: Yuppie-Hipster Style

Out here in the West we have Sunset magazine, the naturalesque style and culture mag where gardening is bespoke and children are vintage fashion accessories. If you’re from, say, Alabama, you might read Sunset and think everyone west of Kansas has a mini Airstream trailer with a pop-up porch lined with flowering vines. (I’m looking at you, Cousin Thad. This post is your education in how we find our Christmas trees here in the wild, ironically flannel-clad West.)

My friend Marisa gets Sunset. Perhaps it’s a relic of her childless days? Last year’s Christmas edition made her irrationally angry. This, it turns out, was a gift to all of us, as you shall see.

Marisa and her wife have two kids ages 6 and 2. They’re exhausted, and they know there’s no “perfect day at the tree farm.”  But there it was on the cover, part of “The West’s New Holiday Traditions.” Marisa annotated the article to save the rest of us from internally combusting. Let’s join her now…SunsetMag

 

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhh the holidays. Thank you Sunset, for keeping our already unrealistic expectations in check. People have real sh*t to feel bad about, but now they also have Yuppie-Hipster Christmas Tree Excursions to add to the list.

Stay tuned for our next edition of How to Make People Feel Bad at Christmas when we light up your life with condescending Christian lawn signs.

 

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6 responses to “How to Make People Feel Bad at Christmas: Yuppie-Hipster Style

  1. This is hilarious! I get Sunset and although I enjoy the recipes and ideas for local day trips, I agree it can get a bit insufferable. I would love to see an annotated version of this year’s October issue in which you are encouraged to create “a festive Halloween feast to fuel a night of trick-or-treating,” which includes three types of home-baked hand pies and thermoses of hot butterscotch, nestled in apple crates and decorative tins within a little red wagon, to be towed along as your children trick-or-treat… I don’t even have kids and I can see so many “not gonna happen” moments with this.

  2. Here’s to keepin’ the holidays real!
    Thanks, Evelyn!

  3. Tree killers. Oh, the lack of irony.

  4. LOVE this! Thanks for a good laugh. Hope you’re doing well… and Happy Holidays to you

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