Sympathetic Pregnancy Hits the Chaos Team

You know about sympathetic pregnancy: It’s when you are pregnant and your partner starts to gain weight or have cravings, too. (It would be hard to watch your knocked-up other half take naps and indulge and not get a share of the action, right?) In any case, it’s an affliction that’s hit the Chaos Team. While their preschool and kindergarten compatriots are dropping like flies with fevers and colds, K-Pants and Baby Woww seem to be pregnant. You would think the things I do to combat nausea—ginger chews, sea bands, special pills—would be pretty boring, but they love the novelty of it all, and the spicy burn of ginger chews.

“Our tummies feel bad. We need ginger chews.”

“Strange that your tummies feel bad every time you see a ginger chew.”

“We just need one.”

The sea bands were a fun novelty.

“We feel like throw up, Mom. We need your bracelets.”

There are far too many turf wars about food. Normally I’m happy to share snacks, but if the only things I can eat are corn Chex and Granny Smith apples, then there’s going to be a rumble.

“We want your cereal.”

“No, I have to have it because that’s all I can eat.”

“But our tummies hurt. Please, please, please. Just a little bit. We want some cereal. We want some cereal. We want some cereal.”

At this point, I’m usually about to cry as I insist, “No. It’s mine. It’s mine.” We are a very volatile team right now. Often it’s hard to tell who’s acting most like a grown-up.

The biggest sympathetic pregnancy battle yet happened in India. You may have read or experienced that constipation is a common pregnancy side effect. Not knowing how I could take in the crazy amounts of additional fiber I currently need while traveling, I packed a bottle of gummy fiber chews. The children will do anything for stuff that comes in gummy form.

“Mom, we need a poop gummy.”

“But they’re for me.”

“But we need them to help us go poop.”

Then Baby Woww would stick out his little tush and go, “Pooooop!” Occasionally I would wear down and give them a fiber gummy, but they wanted them in amounts that would have caused some serious back-end malfunction. I held strong. One day they were very quiet, and then I received this note. Fiber Gummies. MomsicleBlog In case you can’t read the inventive spelling and are confused by the lack of spaces, it says. “We have to eat fiber gummees!” One can only surmise that the drawings are of gummy chews in bottles and strings of healthy colons. The ensuing negotiations were difficult, but I managed to save the chews for myself. We still have until June to travel this path, so if you see K-Pants and Baby Woww looking suspiciously rotund, know that I simply have no willpower left.

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12 responses to “Sympathetic Pregnancy Hits the Chaos Team

  1. I just laughed myself silly reading about toddler sympathetic pregnancy. Think I’ll go score some Corn Chex and fiber gummies!

  2. I laughed, I snorted, I cried. I fight gummie bandits all day – every day. I lie about deadly amounts of pork product in the said gummies. I plug my ears, like so, and go la, la, la, can’t hear ya, la, la, la. Then I give her a sampling of the gummies (crocodile shaped, bear shaped, God-darn it even Smurf shaped) because she knows grandmom brought no less than 25 bags of halal gummies and the kid saw them with her laser eyes probably through the bag. Just give in E…and brag to other mothers on the playground how regular your kids are.

  3. Adriane Blackman

    I think you should send that drawing to the gummy chew peeps. It’s just awesome. Hope your tummy is feeling better. 😉

  4. They’re spending the night on Friday so make sure to notify us if you give them any of those laxative chews 🙂

  5. I need your ginger chews, too. And your fiber gummies. And your cereal. It all sounds so good! I’m coming over right now to steal them. Well…right after I fend off my own children from stealing my breakfast. 😉

  6. Pingback: Bloggerhood Etc. 2/2//15 | Fatherhood Etc.

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