Snow Days From Hell

It's lovely outside, but crazy inside. MomsicleBlog

I loved snow days when I was in elementary school. The world stopped and became a playground with pit stops for hot chocolate and grilled cheese.

So when the snow started falling on Thursday, I was giddy. There it was: quiet beauty with the promise of play time.

Instead, I’m locked in a low-budget horror movie. Have you seen Despicable Me 2? You know how those cute yellow minions turn into feral, fuzzy creatures of death?

Despicable Me 2, courtesy of http://family-room.ew.com/2013/10/07/despicable-me-2-dvd/

That’s what happened around here.

When you are four and two, you don’t spend all day outside sledding. You go out in the snow for 20 minutes, realize your hands are freezing, scream at your mom, and go back inside.

We’re stuck. We can’t throw ourselves in the car and drive to sanity.

We’re inside, and inside is hell.

You can only make so many blanket forts and batches of cookies.

Mainly, K-Pants has been in a state of disequilibrium for a while now. And though he’s not hitting me or throwing things (progress!), he’s turned to psychological warfare (“Mom, you are BAD! I wish you would DIE!”).

  • Me: You can’t have another cookie.
  • K-Pants: You are BAD. You are a BAD mom.***
  • Me: You’re mad at Baby Woww, but you can’t hit him with a plane.
  • K-Pants: NO MOM! I wish you would DIE, Mom!

And I’m supposed to be calm and firm and kind in response, but this is like some kind of torture for me: “Evelyn, we’re going to lock you in your house for four days. Your children will be crying and whining and hitting each other. You must feed them and change their diapers and not lose your marbles.”

It works until 4 p.m. At 4 p.m. I lose my marbles.

My husband and Baby Woww found me hiding under the guest bedroom comforter downstairs one day. Ostensibly I was “making the bed.”

Yesterday, 4 p.m. hit and my husband suggested I take a bath. That did not go so well, and this letter was subsequently dictated.

Sorry Mom. MomsicleBlog

So today we put the chains on the car. The temperature is above freezing. We feel like there’s a chance to escape. It’s almost four. Baby Woww is screaming. K-Pants will wake up soon. It’s time to roll the dice….

***

Photo from Despicable Me 2 courtesy of Entertainment Weekly.

Advertisements

11 responses to “Snow Days From Hell

  1. Hahahaha! LOVE this! I feel like I’ve eaten my own weight in cookies and coffee cake because what else is there to do?!

  2. This made me laugh so hard. We’ve read it out loud at our house three times now … and I laugh harder every time. Hang in there, Evelyn, and good luck with all these snow days. A happy feeling for you …

  3. Beyond Bon Bons

    I’m sorry you had such a bad experience! Maybe by Tuesday you will get to come out for playgroup!

  4. It’s sad that snow days aren’t fun anymore now that we are the parents but I love your sorry note!

  5. So I’m not the only one who loses her marbles at 4pm? Nice! Preschool is cancelled for tomorrow and all I can wonder is “What are we gonna do all day for a fourth straight snow day?”

  6. Pingback: Bloggerhood Etc. 2/10/14 | Fatherhood Etc.

  7. jing.dipiero@fei.com

    We were snow bound till Sun afternoon. It felt great even going to a grocery store. My kids spent a long time playing outside every day. It helped..

  8. You know, San Diego is nice this time of year…

  9. Since I’m still teaching (or at least still working in schools!) I LOVE snow days! Got my baking supplies at the ready, just in case. And now I know what you meant when you said earlier you had just finished making the bed!

Your Comments Feed My Blog

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s