Pinterest is propagating this evil lie that kids love elaborate birthday parties involving a minimum of 27 adorable crafts, all of which can be made with things that you already have in your cabinets, plus $400 at Joann Fabrics or that hell that is Michael’s.
This is not true.
Kids, especially little kids, don’t care. The best one year old birthday party we ever went to was at a bar.
But kid birthday parties seem to be getting more and more ornate. Birthday party is the new bridal shower. Coordinated colors, photo cookies, carved cakes, picture booths, mounds of take-home loot….
Need proof? Just look at these simple ways to decorate a kid birthday party, including making photo cake toppers, sewing party decorations together, and adding personalized accents to gift bags!
Or you can make a five-layer rainbow cake (photo at top).
Looks cute, doesn’t it? But you’re going to need to buy extra cake pans and way more food coloring than is currently on the shelf at your grocery store. Then six hours later you’ll have a beautiful rainbow cake that kids will see for 30 seconds as they throw pieces at their mouths.
Stop the madness!
What’s that you say? Some people love crafts? Some people don’t swear and get resentful while sewing together coordinated banners cut out with craft scissors?
More power to them! And I love attending their children’s birthday parties. But it’s not a good idea for me to teach my children so many four-letter-words while I craft it up over here at chaos central.
If you are on the fence about hosting a kid party worthy of the Pinterest hall of fame, keep these things in mind:
- The kids just want, in this order, 1) cake, 2) cake, 3) cake, 4) maybe singing, but probably not, and 5) play time.
- Plan to pull one all-nighter for every three crafts you choose.
- Pencil in an extra 2-3 trips to the craft store, and add on 30 minutes to each trip as a cushion for the fact that everyone in front of you will be returning merchandise and it will be the checker’s first week (plus Michael’s doesn’t actually have clerks, that I’ve seen).
- Make sure to book a spa day for right after the party. You will need it.
Are you a kid party fanatic? Does your child get a party every year, or do you skip a year or two?
My follow-up post will be on how to keep kid birthday parties simple, so share your thoughts. I’d love to include them.
Photo credits: Rainbow cake from SunValleyMag.com; Decoration banners from Pear Tree Greetings. For the record, I would love to attend parties hosted by the incredibly tired parents who have made these crafts.