So this happened at Halloween.
Our house was home-base for a trick-or-treating party that included three preschoolers and their entourages (which came to about 25 people, because preschoolers need a lot of handlers).
I was wearing an adult-size Oscar the Grouch costume.
I’m a little overzealous (and anal retentive).
Luckily my friends tend to be overzealous, too, and they arrived in full superhero costumes: Superman, Superwoman, Batman, Wolverine, and–my favorite–Captain America with full-size shield.
The relatives were all wearing street clothes. My husband thought about wearing a Red Sox hat, but decided not to.
So he was in the kitchen helping my dad, sister, and brother grab beers from the fridge to help them get through the preschool-Halloween rave that was unfolding in the living room.
As you know, little people don’t have much patience, and they melt down really early. So it’s imperative to take a commemorative group picture right away, and then hit the yellow brick road to Candyland.
I had assembled the Justice League for our commemorative photo in 30-seconds-flat.
We just needed a non-costumed family photographer. Hey, photographers? PHOTOGRAPHERS?!?! Where the hell are all you people?
They were trying to take just a few more sips of their survival beers.
They may not have understood the full scale, and responsibilities, of preschool Halloween.
Oscar was not happy.
Words were exchanged. Things were said that Oscar may-or-may-not remember due to black-out grouch rage.
It’s possible the death-ray feature on K-Pants’s robot costume was activated.
You know, self-reflection is one of those gifts God gave us that we don’t always take advantage of.
I hear that reading books and talking to people can help.
Unfortunately I’m not all that literate any more, and I spend most of my time talking to the gremlins.
But it’s a new year, and it’s time to watch some TV and recommit to working on my flaws.
Through careful examination of Modern Family I’ve decided that I’m definitely Cam: high on enthusiasm and expectations, always good at talking, but maybe not the best listener or communicator.
So, family, I’ll try to warn you about preschool raves this year, and understand your needs a little better. Thanks for bearing with me.