Teaching Children to Curse

We are definitely going to need a swear word jar in our house.

I try to keep the language clean–it’s definitely cleaner than our floors–but there are days. And kids, as you know, really don’t miss much.

Recently K-Pants locked my keys in the car. This sh#t happens.

He thought he was being helpful locking the doors from the inside and then closing them all. There they were: my keys and phone and wallet all sitting on the passenger seat. So I dropped the F-bomb. And then I stomped my feet and screamed F**k again.

If I could do it all over again, I would try not to swear.

But let’s be honest: I would probably swear more, and maybe hit the car. Frankly, I thought I handled the situation pretty well.

Now K-Pants has a new favorite word and he’s fascinated that he can’t say it.

Why not, Mommy? 
Because it’s a bad word. But you can say shucks
Can I say truck
Yes.
Can I say guck
Yes. And you can say buck
Can I say muck
Yup…

So on the bright side he’s learning to rhyme; and once he and Baby Woww and the Disco Worms start to hold me accountable, the swear word jar might earn enough money to take us on vacation.

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10 responses to “Teaching Children to Curse

  1. So funny! Kids just repeat the funniest things. 🙂

  2. Um, no play dates with YOU for awhile….
    …and good luck at pre school!!

  3. G recently learned to use “damn” correctly in an exclamatory sentence. Ooops. Hearing that little voice saying that was a wake-up call for sure, though of course I haven’t totally cleaned up my language. But he’s also quickly learning that there are some words he really just cannot say. Fortunately it’s been a while since I dropped an f-bomb but I can only imagine that we’ll also be practicing the rhyming words at some point in the future.

  4. One afternoon when Char was 4-year old, we played an alphabet game to see how many animals we could name for each letter of the alphabet. We ran out of steam pretty early on and the game devolved into any word which began with the designated letter. When we got to F, she mischievously said that she knew a bad word which started with F. I braced myself to hear the dreaded f-bomb come from her cute little innocent lips. She drew a dramatic breath and out it came: “Funkenin.”
    Huh? The tension left me as I explained that it wasn’t a bad word; in fact it wasn’t a word at all really. Charlotte looked contemplative as she was taking this in. “Okay,” she said, “well there’s also f*ck.”

  5. LOL. Ah parenting! So many situations where swearing is warranted and yet… Voiceless swearing is the only way to go.

  6. Boy do I hear you! With just one kid, & before the 2s hit us, I was pretty good about keeping it clean. Now, however, there are times when I just respond sans filter. And it is so awful to be reminded of those times by my son employing that language correctly in his speech. Maybe I should become a fan of “moms who drink and curse” so I don’t feel so bad! And start a jar….

    • Yeah, EVERYTHING was a whole lot easier to keep under control with just one kid! I think we should probably stick with two or my life will be an R-rated movie all the time…

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