There are a few things I want to tell my future self–the self that’s thinking of having a third baby. The one that’s awash in hormones and missing the addictive smell of newborn scalp. The self that’s thinking fondly back to a time when my child’s every need could be fulfilled by me.
First, you should hit me over the head with a plastic baby bouncer. And when I come to you can remind me that there was a time when I fulfilled my children’s every need and they could not be separated from me for more than 2-3 hours, and that during those times I may have lain down on the floor and cried.
I’ve wanted three kids for a while and I know it can be done with aplomb. My best friend has four and makes it seem like two. My mommy mentor Donna handles three boys and finds time to send other people’s children birthday presents (I have a hard enough time remembering my own children’s birthdays).
The should-we-have-two-or-three question is complicated. Much more complicated than deciding whether you should get a dog before having a kid.
For one thing, I think it would take a while before our extended family could handle babysitting three grandchildren, and if we don’t have babysitting, well… let’s just say there will be prescription medication involved.
Also, financially two just fits so snug like a lovely puzzle. Three would be a stretch on more than my abs. And there are things I’d like to experience with our family–travel, service trips, family reunions, a time without diapers…
We’re not thinking of having three anytime soon. Baby Woww just turned one and seems to be getting all his teeth at the same time, which means he’d like one of his handlers to snuggle him every moment of the day.
And frankly I think we will let God give us a sign on this one. (And I’m not talking about the “Oops!” sign. I’m thinking more burning-bush or plague-of-locusts).
But as Baby Woww grows out of infancy and my body returns back to normal, I start to think about these things. Like many of us, I wrote my Magical Life List before I met my wonderful husband, and before my future self started becoming more real and less imaginary. I’m coming to realize that what you really want may possibly be different that what you think you’ve always wanted.