Attack of the Dignity-eating Toddler

It’s amazing how we stretch to fill the challenges we have.

With K-Pants, our precious firstborn, having an infant felt crazy and chaotic. And it was: We went from no kids to kid. That’s a game changer.

But now with a newborn and a toddler, it’s Baby Woww who seems like a breeze, and the toddler who’s crazy.

He hits. He throws trains at your head. He demands to be paraded around on his four-wheeled toddler bike all day long.

People ask me, “Is Baby Woww sleeping well?” or “How often is he eating?” To be honest, I’m not really sure. I’m too busy deflecting trains, checking to make sure the toddler fois gras is prepared right, and chasing after His Majesty’s plastic bike.

I feel like Mr. Potter’s minion in It’s A Wonderful Life.

Yes, Mr. Potter, tell me where to go. What would you like to eat, Mr. Potter? Oh, it’s too hot? Don’t worry Mr. Potter, I’ll blow on it for you.

If you don’t have a toddler, you’re probably rolling your eyes and making a mental list of how not to raise your children. You will probably be Mary Bailey…

…not the sidekick to a despotic megalomaniac. I wish you well.

But don’t think that I have no strategy here. I do. It’s called containment. I’ll let you know when it starts working.

***

Mr. Potter & minion photo from The New York Times.
Mary Bailey photo from The Stuff You Gotta Watch movie review site.

 

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10 responses to “Attack of the Dignity-eating Toddler

  1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh, I know I shouldn’t laugh, but you are SO FUNNY!

    Judging by the difference in your last post (where “Baby Woww is fast losing his cute factor”) I take it he is sleeping better though?

  2. Girl, I am SO THERE and I need margaritas to help me cope. Bottoms up!

  3. Give yourself lots of credit for even attempting to manage a frisky toddler in the midst of the fog of having a newborn. And writing a coherent and funny blog about it to boot! Congrats again on motherhood x2 and looking forward to reading more of your west coast adventures. Evie and I miss you guys–lots of love to you and K and Woww! -N

  4. LOL! I’m sure you are an excellent train deflector. I always knew your lightning quick reflexes would come in handy some day. 🙂

  5. Well here’s mine: BWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAAA! 😀 My oldest one was a bookworm at 3–then Brian came…He was kind of quiet too…Only Eric liked trying to feed him chicken nuggets and tried to share the milkshakes before he was old enough to sip from a cup–so I had to become a master at being covert and divert him! Then came Kevin…Both boys talked for him…Both got him stuff…Finally, we ended up taking him to specialists who could find nothing wrong…When he was two, we had spaghetti one afternoon…When my ex asked Eric if he wanted more, Eric said “I want more!”…Brian then said, “I want more!”…Thinking Kevin was finished too, the ex picked up his plate to wash it…The minute he turned his back, Kevin yelled, “I WANT MORE TOO!”

    And he hasn’t stopped being assertive since! Have a great week! That Wordstock sounds like fun too! Everything happens everywhere but in TX! 😀

  6. BTW….I wonder when wordpress.com will get a “LOVE” button instead to go alongside that “Like” button?

  7. Pingback: And Here’s What Insanity Looks Like | momsicle

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